EPHESIANS 6:4 - FATHERS

“Stupid! That was just absolutely stupid!”

The frustrated father berated his son;

And once the words had left his lips,

They could never be undone.

“Never, I’ll never be able to please my dad!”

The exasperated teenager cried to a friend,

“I might as well not even try.

It’s all the same in the end.”

“Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger –

do not exasperate them to resentment – but rear them [tenderly] in the training

and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.”

Ephesians 6:4 (Amplified)

paidĕia³⁸⁰⁹ – tutorage, i.e., education or training; by impl. disciplinary correction: - chastening, chastisement, instruction, nurture.

nŏuthēsia³⁵⁵⁹ – calling attention to, i.e. (by impl.) mild rebuke or warning: - admonition.

            Seems like every Sunday school or Christian elementary school class has to memorize Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” I wonder how many adult Sunday school classes memorize verse four. They should.

            God’s word has much to say about children. They are a reward from the Lord (Psalm 127:3). They must be trained (Proverbs 22:6). We are not to stand in the way of a child coming to Jesus (Luke 18:16). In fact, we are to be like children, trusting and humble, in our approach to the Lord (Matthew 18:3-4). Christ warned us not to cause a believer to stumble and sin (Matthew 18:6). Our goal as parents should be to lead our children into a relationship with the Lord Jesus.

            Do children sometimes need to be admonished or disciplined? Of course, they do. In fact, Proverbs 13:24, 19:18, 22:15, 23:13, and 29:15 & 17 all talk about the importance of disciplining children. In Hebrews, we are reminded that God disciplines us as his children for our good (Hebrews 12:7-11). Discipline is never pleasant whether it is a spanking, taking away privileges, or the hardships God uses to train us as adults.

However, the point of discipline is that it is for the good of the child. If we are training him to be more like Christ, we cannot use methods that go against what Christ teaches and demonstrates. He blessed the children as he touched them. We should never use words that tear our children down (Ephesians 5:29).  We should exhibit the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) in our dealings with our children and show them the love described in I Corinthians 13:4-8.

            It is possible to express disappointment with a child’s actions and discipline him without wounding him emotionally and spiritually. A principal I worked for would make sure a child bought to her understood what behavior was being punished. Then after spanking the child or announcing other punishment, she would reassure that child of her love and explain that she would be shirking her responsibility to their parents and to the Lord if she allowed the child to continue in behavior that was not good. Then she expressed her confidence that the child would “do better” in the future and gave them a heartfelt hug. The children loved her.

            Father, help us to discipline the children in our lives with love. Father, I pray for all the parents of young children that I know. I ask that you give them wisdom in disciplining their children. Help them to discern the difference between teaching and nagging so as not to exasperate their children. Most of all, let your love so flow through these parents that their children come to know you at the earliest possible age.