COLOSSIANS 3:18-21 - ENCOURAGING HOMES

Lord, may our homes be built on your love

That teaches us to respect one another.

Wives adapting, husbands affectionate,

Children obeying father and mother.

May parents build up their children,

And teach them that God treasures them.

May everything in our Christian homes

Honor Christ and be centered on Him.

“Wives, be subject to your husbands – subordinate and adapt yourselves to them –

as is right and fitting and your proper duty in the Lord.

 Husbands, love your wives – be affectionate and sympathetic with them –

and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.

Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children – do not be hard on them or harass them; lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated;

do not break their spirit.”

Colossians 3:18-21 (Amplified Version)

athumĕō¹²⁰ – to be spiritless, i.e. disheartened; - be dismayed.

            Child abuse angers me, whether it be physical, mental or emotional. However, there is a subtle type of abuse that doesn’t make the headlines, that of discouraging a child to the point that his spirit is broken.

            I’ve stated many times that I abhor the “cut-down jokes” that are rampant in our society. However, James was right on target when he spoke of the difficulty of taming the tongue (James chapter 3). If I don’t seek the Lord’s help to reign in my tongue, I can find myself destroying others with this so-called humor. I find particularly loathsome the habit of some parents in teasing their children in this manner. We are admonished to encourage one another and build each other up (Ephesians chapter 4). Teasing and cut-down jokes tear down, especially when applied to children.

            The other form this abuse takes is being unreasonably hard on a child. Yes, we need to have high expectations of our children; but we are also to demonstrate God’s grace to them in real and tangible ways. Our children need to know that we love them even when they fail, perhaps especially when they fail. When teaching, I worked with many “sweat-hogs” to borrow a phrase from television. I found what most of them needed was someone to tell them, “You CAN do it! I believe in you! God has gifted you in many ways, and He will help you to succeed.”

            I was blessed to have loving earthly parents who listened to me and helped me up when I would fall. My earthly father helped me financially with no condemnation over my inability to manage on my own.  He knew I had chosen a path of ministry that paid little in money but much in satisfaction, and he encouraged me to seek the Lord’s path for my life.

            Father, you have blessed me with “adopted” children who are now grown and on their own. Help me to continue to encourage them and never to break their spirits. Help me to be a builder in my grandchildren’s lives as well. Draw them to you at an early age that they may know the security of your love throughout life on earth.